Demonkeepers 4 by Andersen Jessica

Author:Andersen, Jessica [Andersen, Jessica]
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Tags: Contemporary, Fiction, Romance, Fantasy, General, Paranormal
ISBN: 9780451229571
Publisher: Signet
Published: 2010-04-06T07:00:00+00:00

Lucius stalked back to his cottage, telling himself he’d done the right thing. He’d wanted to prod her into reconciling—or at least trying to reconcile—with her winikin. What was more, he’d managed to keep the conversation away from their relationship, which had become a suddenly thorny problem, and in a way he never would’ve anticipated.

He’d sensed the shift in her the previous morning, had known when things had gone from lust-only to tenderness, from “that feels good” to “what are you feeling?” A year ago, maybe even a few months ago, that would’ve had him doing cartwheels through the busted-up great room. Now, though, he didn’t know what to do with it. Did he care about her? Absolutely. But the more time he spent around the mated mage pairs, and the more recent events had forced him to think about family ties, the more he realized that in the past he’d done crushes and affection, occasionally even loyalty, but not love.

He had loved his family growing up, he supposed, in a love-but-not-like sort of way. Or had that been coexistence rather than love? His older brothers had tormented him, his father had cheered them on, his older sisters had put bows in his hair, and his mother had pitted them all against one another in a subtle battle of passive aggression he hadn’t recognized as such until he was well away from the whole mess. He’d escaped to UT, floundered a bit, then eventually found his place with Anna. He’d leaned on her, idolized her, and thought for a time that he loved her. But his feelings for her, like the brief flashes of affection from his few lovers, which he’d taken too far, too fast with scant encouragement, hadn’t been the sort of bone-deep emotion that had spurred Vennie to sacrifice herself so her husband and child might live, or that had embittered Shandi so deeply that she’d carried the fear and resentment with her for decades. He’d never felt that way. More, he didn’t think he wanted to, because wasn’t it really another form of possession? He didn’t want to have to think of someone else; he was just starting to figure out how to think of himself.

That was why he’d ducked Jade’s almost-offer just now. Always before, she had guarded herself so carefully, protected herself so fiercely. The last thing he wanted was to peel those layers back to find the woman within . . . and realize he was incapable of letting himself be equally vulnerable to her.

He wanted her. But he didn’t want to be owned by her. And that was what love translated to, wasn’t it? Ownership.

They could be friends. They could be friends with benefits. They could even be lovers. But he wasn’t interested in falling in love, not anymore. And for a guy who had always thought he was someone who fell too easily, that was a hell of a thing to figure out. Especially when he and Jade were finally lovers. Things were changing too fast around him, inside him, for him to make any sort of commitment.

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